Necesitamos una Buena Comunicación*

      It's not my habit to post so soon in succession, but one of the headlines I read this morning over breakfast said that the White House website is no longer available in Spanish.  It was a small article, but this is a very, very big deal.
      It's a big deal for two clear reasons.  Firstly, the White House is one of the two most critical nerve centers of American government.  Some data suggests that as few as one out of five Americans know the name of their state senators, but I think it's safe to say that the majority of our citizens know who is president--especially at this point in history.  Individuals looking for information about the leader of the free world might naturally start with the web site belonging to the most recognizable real estate in the country.  And now that information is not accessible to a significant percentage of the population.
      Then there's the symbolism.  Sure, the White House website is under construction while new information replaces the old during a change in administration, but you don't see the entire English site going down, or even significant portions.  Information about Melania Trump's modeling career & jewelry business was made available pretty damn fast.  So there's no doubt that this disappearance is deliberate.  It's no different than the popular kid handing out birthday invitations to everyone in their class except for those two or three they don't like: it's hard to miss that kind of snub.  And considering the exclusionary, uninformed, racist rhetoric Trump has spouted regarding Latinos, it would seem this is a malicious snub.  An entire group of people - who already struggle because of language issues - are even more shut out.

      I've already said that one the ways I hope to improve myself and be more of an activist is by learning Spanish.  When an entire language - and the people who speak it - are so forcefully marginalized, that becomes even more important.  At the Womxn's March, there were a lot of signs that said: BUILD BRIDGES, NOT WALLS!  I can't think of a more powerful bridge than that of communication.  I don't particularly like learning languages; it's a struggle for me, & it takes time I'd rather spend doing other things.  And that may be the biggest indicator of my White Privilege I can think of.


So what can we do?

      Before publishing this post I went to the White House website & left a message for the president, asking him specifically to restore the Spanish Translation of the website.  There were a lot of people in those marches on Saturday.  What if we got even half of them to flood the website with that particular request?
Here's the link: https://www.whitehouse.gov/contact


*This post's title is brought to you by Google Translate.

2017: The Year of the Source

      I come from a family that makes New Year's Resolutions every January 1st.  Sometimes they're serious, sometimes they are fun, but they always come from a place of self-improvement.  This year, I have two related to politics and social justice.

#1: I will have no regrets in 2017 about missed opportunities to take political action.  Big or small, whether a simple conversation or a significant protest.  Realistically I know I won't be able to do everything that comes my way, but I intend to approach each opportunity with enough determination and open-mindedness that I will have no regrets.

#2: I declare 2017 to be the year of "State Your Source."  And I welcome you to join me in this, so let me explain.

      One of the most appalling hallmarks of 2016 was the wide-spread disease that is political and social falsehoods.  Some of this came from our most visible political contenders.  A lot of it came from social media.  And some of it has had shocking, tragic consequences.
      False news has appeared on virtually every topic, but especially politics.  I wish I could say that I have been immune to this plague.  As a person who was taught how to vet accurate source material in high school, college, and graduate school, I wish I could say I held a healthy skepticism.  But this isn't true.  I, like many others, got sucked into the emotional furor of the election and jumped all over at least one utterly fictional internet meme.

I found out this wasn't true by watching 2016's final episode of "Last Week Tonight," which - although comedic in nature - is serious about the accuracy of the news they share.

     This Trump meme was an easy one to swallow, for a couple obvious reasons.  First of all, it really does sound like something Trump would way.  It uses his choice vocabulary, and the pattern of speech as indicated by the punctuation is a perfect match to his typical way of talking.  There's also the fact that a "source" is given: People Magazine, 1998.  If a source is given, then hey, that's gotta be true!  But it turns out that it wasn't.
      When I discovered I had bought into and verbally repeated a complete fabrication, I was horrified and embarrassed.  Some people said I was over-reacting; it's not like the few people I'd told had made a significant impact on the outcome of the election, or even damaged someone's life.  But this could be said of any single person re-Tweeting or re-posting a meme or article.  Individually, they are hardly culpable--but as a whole, they can have a powerful impact.  That's why people go to the trouble of creating these falsehoods.
      What really mortified me, however, was not the fear that I had been one pebble in a crushing landslide.  It was the blow to my integrity.  I am personally embarrassed that I so readily bought into a lie.  My ideas about who I am - my estimation of my own intelligence - are brought into question when I so readily latch onto a piece of information because it fits with my existing worldview.  As a psychotherapist, I know that this is the mental mechanism that feeds bias, prejudice, and bigotry.  I also know that depending on how much emotion someone attaches to a topic, their willingness to change their opinion may defy all logic, even when it is in their best interest.
      I do not - NOT - want to be one of those people.

They called him "Honest Abe" for a reason, folks.
(Please tell me I don't have to explain that this is a gag.)

      I do want to keep track of the incoming U.S. president's lies.  And yes, I believe he is going to tell a lot of lies, because the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, and he has already told the U.S. and the world a lot of lies.  But the power of my argument is only as strong as the truths behind them.  If my opinions of Trump prove false, and he turns out to have an overwhelmingly positive impact on this country, then I don't want to dig me heels into the mud and whine about it: I want to be the first person to say, "Wow, I've never been so happy to be wrong in my life!"*  On the other hand, if my suspicions prove true, I want to have the hard evidence to back them up.  I want to be a person of integrity even when it is inconvenient.
      So when I hear a piece of information offered as fact, even when I like it - no, especially if I like it - I am going to ask: "state your source."  And I want people to do the same to me.  This isn't meant to be snarky, nor superior.  This is coming from a place of true curiosity, and a desire to hold myself accountable.  "The Truth shall make you Free"...but internet memes will mess with your mind.


*Admittedly it's hard to believe that possibility, considering he sometimes "promises" to do two entirely opposing things.

Reflections on Safety Pin Training

      Last weekend, I taught a free community training on de-escalation skills.  It was my friend's idea: she's far more involved in social media than I am and she saw both an interest and a need.  She reached out to me, she found a location, and she put out the word.  She is amazing.  And over 20 people showed up.
      Over 20 people came to learn ways to put themselves between an aggressor and a targeted individual.  They came to learn how to help others - help strangers - because they believe in embodying the values of equity and inclusion.  It was humbling.  I know it sounds corny, but I was honestly deeply moved that these individuals were willing to learn, and willing to act.  It's nice to know we're not alone.

      I am a privileged individual who, by no other means than the color of my skin, am a member of a broad and comfortable majority.  It is exceedingly rare for me to go anywhere and feel out-of-place, and when I do it's usually by choice.  But for the first few days after the election I didn't feel that way.  Everywhere I went, every White stranger I looked at, I wondered: "Who is this person?  How did they vote, and why?  What are their values?"  I was trying to read facial expressions like never before.  Were they happy or sad?  Elated that their "underdog" candidate had made it?  Or did they feel like me, distressed that such an ugly side of America had been exposed, and proved so much larger than they had feared?  It is my nature to assume that everyone is a good person when I first meet them.  All of a sudden, I was questioning that.
      My paranoia had died down a little bit since then.  Logic, education, and experience have tempered my emotions into a more reasonable perspective.  After all, not everyone who voted for Trump is an overtly racist hate-monger.  At least one person I know and love has financial convictions that blinded them to the larger social issues.  And there are people who weren't appalled by Trump's rhetoric because it echoed that of most people they know.  To them, it must have been refreshing - maybe even a relief - to finally have a presidential candidate who sounded like "a real person."  They might have experienced the precise opposite of my reaction following the election.  Maybe all of a sudden they felt more like they belonged.
      For me, the sense of isolation continued.  It wasn't until I walked into the room last Saturday and saw those strangers - those wonderful, caring, daring strangers - that I realized how much I was carrying around.  All of a sudden, here was the Seattle I knew and loved: people ranging in age from early 20's to late 50's; ranging in style from conservative slacks to heavy piercings and blue hair; and from the way they were dressed, there was no way to know what the socio-economic spread might be.*  I felt like a member of a community again.  I felt like strangers and I had something in common again.
      It fueled me.  It humbled me.  It stoked the embers of my hope.  It made me feel so, so thankful that I had something to give.  And it made me hungry to learn more, myself.
      If you were there: thank you for coming.
      We'll be doing a repeat of the first training in January, and then moving on to other topics of request later in the winter.  I will have the slides made available soon.  Another friend of mine and I will be coordinating some open trainings and forums about race discrepancy and White Privilege in south Seattle.  I hope to see some of the same people back again, and I hope to see plenty of new faces, too.  We're not alone. As I've been writing in my holiday cards: 2017 may not be shaping up to be the best year, but it can bring out the best in us.

*Of course everyone was White: the Safety Pin movement is about recognizing privilege and becoming an ally.  But you certainly don't have to be White!

      So...what do we do?
My answer: do something.  Do ONE thing.  Start with one.  Something small.  Then see if you're up to do something else.  Here's what I've decided to do:

1) I'm going to take Spanish classes.
      I imagine moving to a country where I didn't have a good grasp on the language, struggled with poverty, and received the kind of social messages this recent election has given to our Latino population.  I think it would crush me.  Some people say: "Well, if you're going to move to a foreign country, learn the language."  YOU try becoming competent in a language when you're working multiple jobs and raising a family.   I studied French for 8 years in a very good school district; it was practically fed to me with a silver spoon, and I never got much beyond conversational use of the language.  One of the best ways I can start supporting this minority population is by talking to them.

Just thinking about it makes me feel humbled.

2) I'm going to visit my local Mosque, and ask how I can show my support.
      This will be easy for me, since a gentleman from my local Mosque has already come and presented to my workplace about how to support immigrant Islamic youth.  I get shy in these kinds of situations, but if I can't overcome my shyness and the inconvenience to my comfortable weekly schedule, then I'm falling woefully short of my ideals.

       That's where I'm starting.  If you're looking for places to start, here are some suggestions from myself and others I've spoken to:

 - Stand up against bullying.  Whether it's in your face, or on Facebook, don't stand idly by.  Here is an excellent link sent to me by a reader about how to intervene if you see someone perpetrating a hate crime.  But these days, I think we encounter even more bullying online.  If you are a video gamer, you know what kind of things other people can say in the heat of the moment.  If you hear it, I challenge you to call them on it.  Don't put up with it.  Even if it means booting them, blocking them, or logging off yourself.  It's time to draw the line on every front.

http://www.pbs.org/newshour/rundown/safety-pins-solidarity-minorities/

 - Donate generously to a non-profit that serves minorities and other struggling populations.  There are plenty to pick from, and all depend at least partially on government funding.  There is a significant risk that these organizations will take a serious financial hit in the next four years--some may have to close their doors.  Southern Poverty Law Center.  The ACLU (this one may be more important than ever).  United Way.  Planned Parenthood.  Your local food bank, shelter, or mental health/addiction treatment center.

 - Travel.  If you are puzzled about why some parts of the country have such different political ideas than others, go check it out.  Don't just drive through, stay for a few days, and chat with the locals.  Or, if you can afford it, travel outside the country.  Go to Mexico.  Go to South America.  Go to China.  Go to India.  And take someone with you who could really benefit from the education of experience.

That's not a third-world country, that's someone's home in Arkansas.

 - Read.  Keep these issues on your mind, and be willing to explore topics that may not be at the top of your area of interest.  These are complicated issues, tied to history and ideas that may be strange or uncomfortable for a lot of people.  I'm starting a page on this blog tracking the books I'm reading that are relevant to issues of social equity, and you are welcome to recommend more.

 - Have conversations with others.  Talk to other people who share your values and figure out what you can do together.  Find ways to feel connected with others.  Find ways to empathize with others.  Find ways to listen--especially when you don't want to.  And if you're not sure how to do that without yelling, I will put out a post on communication skills in a few weeks.

 - Go to your next city council meeting.  This could say "get involved in politics," but that's a daunting concept for many.  So start with city council.  Check out the website or call city hall, figure out when the next meeting is, and go watch.  And talk to somebody else there.  Voila, you're involved in politics!  Keep it up, and see where it goes--maybe you'll even run for office.

A Doctor with Any Other Skin

      There was a lot of interesting bits in the news this week (including a pretty hilarious Saturday Night Live skit spoofing the most recent U.S. presidential debate).  But the piece of news that stuck with me the most was about a doctor's experience on a recent Delta airlines flight.  A fellow passenger was experiencing a health crisis, and the flight crew called for a medical professional.  Dr. Cross raised a hand to volunteer, but a flight attendant declined the offer of assistance, stating the crew wanted "a real physician."
      What made this flight attendant think Dr. Cross wasn't a real physician?  The only possible cues this flight attendant could have called on to make this erroneous assumption were Dr. Cross's appearance: clothing, age, gender, and skin color.
      Dr. Tamika Cross is a young Black woman.  You do the math.

This is what a doctor looks like, America.

      If you haven't read Dr. Cross' original Facebook post, I highly recommend that you do so.
      There are two layers of atrociousness to Dr. Cross' experience.  One is that the prejudices of that flight attendant could have cost the sick passenger his life.  What if there hadn't been another medical professional on board?  How long would the flight attendant have dithered about, making Dr. Cross drag out some kind of ID to satisfy her doubts?  The other is a deeper, sadder truth about our judgements and decisions under stress.
      I recently attended a fabulous training on racial diversity.  The presenter made a point early on of saying that she judges people all the time--in fact she judges them before she's even seen them.  She gave the example of making judgements about the people she's hired to train based on where they work, their line of work, where they sit in the room, what they're wearing, etc.  Then she pointed out: "Judging people like this is normal, everyone does it.  Don't be worried that I'm judging you--be worried if I'm not aware of it."
      Of course I do this, too.  And I'm sad to say that the first thing that comes to my mind when I hear the word "doctor" is a White man.  But it's happened to me enough that I am aware of it--that, and other prejudicial, knee-jerk assumptions that lurk in my unconscious mind.  When people wonder why it's so important to have diversity in things like the cast of TV shows and movies, or in the characters of novels, this is why.  We need to see people of all genders, colors, body types, ages, and sexual orientation in all kinds of life roles.
      It's even more important that we see that kind of diversity in real life, which brings us to Affirmative Action...but that's another post.  We think that these kinds of superficial, snap-judgement prejudices are relatively harmless.  So what if the first thing we think when someone is driving slow is "probably a little old lady," or if we see someone struggling with an ATM we as assume, "must not be from this country?"  Now we know what: the doctor on the plane when you're having organ failure might be a little old lady, or might have English as a second language.  Fortunately, the signs of heart attack are the same no matter where you are from in the world.
      If that flight attendant wasn't aware of how she judged people before this incident occurred, I sincerely hope she's aware of it now.  I'm going to keep pushing myself to over-come my own mental stereotypes.
      Delta airlines is apparently investigating the incident.  Dr. Cross is not responding to media requests for interviews, which is the professional thing to do.  She is completing her final year of residency at a hospital, and believe me when I say hospitals do not like their medical staff to be in the news for any reason besides awards.  Although many people - including myself - would like to see Dr. Cross speak about her experience on a respectable national news program, keeping silent is definitely the way to go.
     The only point on which I disagree with Dr. Cross is on the issue of compensation.  According to her Facebook post, she would accept Skymiles as part of the airlines apology.  Whereas I intend to never fly Delta again.



*The type who are disinclined to believe in the existence of rampant racism in our society, which is sometimes subtle and sometimes not so subtle.

A Local Opportunity

      This is the second of these open community events.  I attended the first, and found it very grounding in a time when I felt emotionally adrift.  It was also partly what inspired me to start this blog.  Everyone is welcome!