Confusion: Part One

      I remember the presidential election of 2000, when George W Bush ran against Al Gore.  And Ralph Nader.  The outcome is history.  It is a topic that I have rarely heard discussed without bitterness--even before this most recent election.  But even that controversial event didn't inspire as much protest, debate, & concern as those of November 2016.  More than anything else, however, the election of Donald Trump seems to have invoked confusion.  A lot of confusion.  Confusion should inspire curiosity, but it's much more likely to inspire anxiety, often to the point of fear.  And fear makes a dangerous motivator.

      So I'm trying to be methodical.  I'm making a list of the things that confuse me these days, & I'm making an effort to seek information.  Some questions (like WTF is up with the electoral college? and Just how easy would it be for Trump to fire nukes?) are fairly easy to answer with a little research.  Others delve deep into human nature, which has officially become more difficult to predict than the weather.  And to accomplish this, communication is necessary.
      It's also one of the most confusing things at the moment.
      Since Trump took office, I have heard a lot of people talking about how perplexed they become when trying to converse with individuals who voted for the other presidential candidate.  We want to persuade others to our way of thinking.  This goes both ways: I was bemused by this article in the Seattle Times last week outlining how local Trump supporters were confused by all the protests going on.  Being a liberal myself, I more often hear many like-minded individuals voicing confusion about friends or family members who didn't share their voting strategy.  These conversions often end with a stab at optimism: "Well, those Trump voters will realize their mistake soon enough, when nothing works out the way they want!"
      Unfortunately, I'm not so sure.  There was an excellent article in Slate magazine** that summarized the challenges when trying to communicate with "true believers."  Whatever their Cause - medical miracle, religious figurehead, new political philosophy* - when a person becomes convinced that Cause is Good, they can defend that position to a frightening degree.  As a psychotherapist I have often wished that I better understood this phenomenon.  (Minority groups have been familiar with this problem for years: just try being a person of color persuading a privileged white person that White Privilege is a thing.)  Now more than ever, I wish I had some great insight--because a lot of conversations need to happen over the next 3 years, 11 months, & some-odd days.
      If you have other experiences, resources, or ideas about constructive communication, I very much want to hear it.  I think this skill may prove the most critical resource in our joint futures.  In fact, I believe it may save lives.

*We this historically with political revolutions: think the early years of the Soviet Union, or North Korea.  If you want a better understanding, I cannot over-recommend the book "Nothing To Envy" by Barbara Demick.  It is one of the most interesting, most engrossing, & most eye-opening books I've ever read.

**Ok, if you follow only one link in this whole blog post, THIS IS THE ONE TO READ!!!

2017: The Year of the Source

      I come from a family that makes New Year's Resolutions every January 1st.  Sometimes they're serious, sometimes they are fun, but they always come from a place of self-improvement.  This year, I have two related to politics and social justice.

#1: I will have no regrets in 2017 about missed opportunities to take political action.  Big or small, whether a simple conversation or a significant protest.  Realistically I know I won't be able to do everything that comes my way, but I intend to approach each opportunity with enough determination and open-mindedness that I will have no regrets.

#2: I declare 2017 to be the year of "State Your Source."  And I welcome you to join me in this, so let me explain.

      One of the most appalling hallmarks of 2016 was the wide-spread disease that is political and social falsehoods.  Some of this came from our most visible political contenders.  A lot of it came from social media.  And some of it has had shocking, tragic consequences.
      False news has appeared on virtually every topic, but especially politics.  I wish I could say that I have been immune to this plague.  As a person who was taught how to vet accurate source material in high school, college, and graduate school, I wish I could say I held a healthy skepticism.  But this isn't true.  I, like many others, got sucked into the emotional furor of the election and jumped all over at least one utterly fictional internet meme.

I found out this wasn't true by watching 2016's final episode of "Last Week Tonight," which - although comedic in nature - is serious about the accuracy of the news they share.

     This Trump meme was an easy one to swallow, for a couple obvious reasons.  First of all, it really does sound like something Trump would way.  It uses his choice vocabulary, and the pattern of speech as indicated by the punctuation is a perfect match to his typical way of talking.  There's also the fact that a "source" is given: People Magazine, 1998.  If a source is given, then hey, that's gotta be true!  But it turns out that it wasn't.
      When I discovered I had bought into and verbally repeated a complete fabrication, I was horrified and embarrassed.  Some people said I was over-reacting; it's not like the few people I'd told had made a significant impact on the outcome of the election, or even damaged someone's life.  But this could be said of any single person re-Tweeting or re-posting a meme or article.  Individually, they are hardly culpable--but as a whole, they can have a powerful impact.  That's why people go to the trouble of creating these falsehoods.
      What really mortified me, however, was not the fear that I had been one pebble in a crushing landslide.  It was the blow to my integrity.  I am personally embarrassed that I so readily bought into a lie.  My ideas about who I am - my estimation of my own intelligence - are brought into question when I so readily latch onto a piece of information because it fits with my existing worldview.  As a psychotherapist, I know that this is the mental mechanism that feeds bias, prejudice, and bigotry.  I also know that depending on how much emotion someone attaches to a topic, their willingness to change their opinion may defy all logic, even when it is in their best interest.
      I do not - NOT - want to be one of those people.

They called him "Honest Abe" for a reason, folks.
(Please tell me I don't have to explain that this is a gag.)

      I do want to keep track of the incoming U.S. president's lies.  And yes, I believe he is going to tell a lot of lies, because the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, and he has already told the U.S. and the world a lot of lies.  But the power of my argument is only as strong as the truths behind them.  If my opinions of Trump prove false, and he turns out to have an overwhelmingly positive impact on this country, then I don't want to dig me heels into the mud and whine about it: I want to be the first person to say, "Wow, I've never been so happy to be wrong in my life!"*  On the other hand, if my suspicions prove true, I want to have the hard evidence to back them up.  I want to be a person of integrity even when it is inconvenient.
      So when I hear a piece of information offered as fact, even when I like it - no, especially if I like it - I am going to ask: "state your source."  And I want people to do the same to me.  This isn't meant to be snarky, nor superior.  This is coming from a place of true curiosity, and a desire to hold myself accountable.  "The Truth shall make you Free"...but internet memes will mess with your mind.


*Admittedly it's hard to believe that possibility, considering he sometimes "promises" to do two entirely opposing things.

The Reality

      I woke up this morning and really needed a cup of coffee.  I don't actually have a coffee maker right now, so I walked a block to my local cafe to order a cup to go.  When I stepped outside, the first thing I saw was a group of school kids waiting for the bus with their parents.  Most of them not White.  A few were Latino.  About a third were Middle Eastern.

      I nearly burst into tears. I wanted to run up to those parents and hug them, and tell them I was so sorry.  I wanted to let them know that I'm afraid for their kids, too.  And that means I'm going to fight for their kids.

      There's a lot about this election that makes me sad.  I had trouble sleeping last night because it also makes me frightened--genuinely scared for my safety and those who I care about.  And please don't tell me I'm over-reacting or that "things could never get that bad," because that's precisely what people said when Trump started to run for president, and you have seen the headlines, right?  But mostly what I feel is anger.  And anger can be a very, very tricky emotion.

      The fact of the matter is that nothing unites like a common enemy, and that is how Trump got himself elected.  Immigrants, Muslims, the Liberal Media--how did Cercei Lannister phrase it?  "Anyone who isn't us is an enemy."  Game of Thrones may be fiction, but don't forget the author firmly based his stories in historical events.  And history has a nasty habit of repeating itself.

      As a White woman of economic and educational privilege, I've often wondered how I would have handled other periods of history.  Would I have had the guts to be one of the Freedom Riders?  Would I have had the courage to help smuggle runaway slaves through the Underground Railroad?  If I had been German in the 1930's, would I have stood up to the Nazis, or kept my head down like so many others did?  I can't go back in history.  But anyone who thinks the present day isn't just as critical as those dark chapters of our past is blind, sir, blind.

      So how to move forward.  How to make a difference.  How to meet what has happened effectively.  How to be able to look back at this time with no regrets, with no cause to lament: "If only I had done more."

      In the interest of not making posts too long, I will dedicate my next one to ideas, strategies and resources.  If you have any to add, please comment here, and let me know.  We shall overcome.