This blog is intended to be an honest, unflinching, and thoughtful appraisal of my experiences with race. The purpose is both personal and public. Personally, I want to grow in both my understanding and action on this topic. I do believe that if one is not a part of the solution, then one is part of the problem. But it isn't always clear HOW to be a part of the solution. I hope that this blog will be a piece of that process for me.
Publicly, I hope to inspire others. I hope other people can learn from both my progress and my mistakes. Just as I hope this blog will help me be more mindful of the issues at hand, I hope reading it and/or discussing its contents will do the same for others. I also intend to invite guest posts, to keep me accountable and vary the perspective.
So, full disclosure: I am a White, full able bodied, middle-class, highly educated woman. I was raised in an economically comfortable neighborhood near a privileged city in late 20th century America. I was raised in a Christian faith, in a loving, non-violent household, by two heterosexual, college-educated, White parents. These were the privileges given to me at birth.
Then there are the privileges I chose for myself, although I did not think of them as such at the time. I chose to graduate high school, and to go to college. Then, I chose to continue my education with a Master's degree. I chose to study and pursue a career in psychology, which - being the study of human thought and behavior - frankly gives me a mild advantage in almost everything I do. And I chose to marry a White, heterosexual man with the same privileges as myself.
There are privileges I have chosen to forego. I choose to base my career in the non-profit sector, because I want to be available to low-income clients. That means taking a hit to my potential income. I choose to relinquish a number of technological advantages, namely: I don't own a television, I don't have cable, and I don't use a smartphone. And, depending on how you look at it, I trade one privilege for another by choosing not to wear make-up, style my hair, or wear high-heeled shoes. I choose to purchase the majority of my clothing second-hand.
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| You could say that my childhood was a lot like one of Norman Rockwell's idyllic paintings... |
But don't misunderstand me, these choices don't put me anywhere near the same playing field as someone who is unable to access these privileges--
because for me it is a choice. A lot of people are dealt a very different hand at birth than I was, and those choices are never before them. And there are other, far more important choices I could have made, that would have made me uncomfortable and help me grow a lot faster.
I could have chosen to live in a neighborhood where I would be an ethnic minority, but I didn't. I could choose to become fluent in another language to better serve my clients, but so far I haven't. I could choose to get rid of my car, and just take public transit, but I don't. Again: I have the privilege of making those choices.
When I write in this blog, I will be coming from a position of privilege: racial privilege, economic privilege, sexual privilege, and more. I know that will make me naive in some areas, and downright wrong in others. But I hope that in documenting my evolving perception, I can help other people challenge their perceptions, also. I hope this can be a tool for raising awareness. And I really, really hope that people who read this will feel free to comment, question, and challenge me.
Hiya Lily,
ReplyDeleteI'll start with a comment - having educated, loving parents that live in a nice neighborhood as you were growing up moves you a bit higher than middle class. Considering that the median income in the US was at the time, you'd be upper middle class if not higher.
I say this having come from a much lower standing. My parents lived in a double wide trailer on a native american reservation outside of a decent sized town in Oregon. We were slightly lucky in that my father owned the land it was on, and the 'house' itself. I rode a bus to school every morning, and I got to go to school, which makes me at least lower middle class. We almost always had a car, though clothing and medical care were problems. Dentistry was an issue, which was an incredibly common problem and still is.
So, given that, lets move to questioning - and to be honest, I don't think there's much there. Do you treat your friends and neighbors with the respect due them as human beings, without paying attention to race? Do you help those who don't have what you had, and make their lives easier, without concern to their race, creed, religion, or sexuality? I know you well enough to answer those questions, which is why I don't worry about what you're doing. You help those in need, you help those that God/Gaia/Fate/The Goddess put in your path, and therefore you're fulfilling that part of your purpose. I'm not sure what the next step is, but I think this is blog is a good direction.
As for challenges, well, be mindful of what others are going through. I know quite a few African Americans, Asian Americans, etc where I live and work. Every one of them around me knows I am approachable and will help them at a drop of a hat, both professionally and personally. They know that I'll talk to them and relate to them, based on their background, and that I have at least a base understanding of where they are, if not a better one. And they know I'm a good man, despite whatever color or creed or race I may be. I think that's the best we can do; to be the change in the world that we want.
Thank you for your comments, A. Grey. I appreciate your perspective on socio-economic status, and you're right: my upbringing probably would fall under "upper middle class." I think people assess themselves on what's immediately around them. When one grows up around a lot of people with boats, it's easy to lose sight of just how privileged one is to have two cars.
DeleteI also appreciate your questions. For me, stepping back and questioning the extent of my White Privilege *is* being the change I want to see in the world. I do think of myself as a good person, but that's not enough. I think most of the people in the world are good people, and yet these tragedies keep happening, and these terrible injustices remain in place. This is because most people are willing to accept "good" as "good enough," and they become complacent.
I became complacent.
Treating people with respect without concern to their race, creed, religion, or sexuality isn't treating them with the full respect they deserve, because it fails to incorporate the struggles unique to those very aspects of who they are. It took me a long time to accept that. Maybe because the concept of "all [people] are created equal" somehow became "all people have equal experiences" in my mind. The shootings and brutality that have been increasingly featured in the news should be a reminder that this is not true.
Thank you for your encouragement, I will keep moving forward with this blog.