Necesitamos una Buena Comunicación*

      It's not my habit to post so soon in succession, but one of the headlines I read this morning over breakfast said that the White House website is no longer available in Spanish.  It was a small article, but this is a very, very big deal.
      It's a big deal for two clear reasons.  Firstly, the White House is one of the two most critical nerve centers of American government.  Some data suggests that as few as one out of five Americans know the name of their state senators, but I think it's safe to say that the majority of our citizens know who is president--especially at this point in history.  Individuals looking for information about the leader of the free world might naturally start with the web site belonging to the most recognizable real estate in the country.  And now that information is not accessible to a significant percentage of the population.
      Then there's the symbolism.  Sure, the White House website is under construction while new information replaces the old during a change in administration, but you don't see the entire English site going down, or even significant portions.  Information about Melania Trump's modeling career & jewelry business was made available pretty damn fast.  So there's no doubt that this disappearance is deliberate.  It's no different than the popular kid handing out birthday invitations to everyone in their class except for those two or three they don't like: it's hard to miss that kind of snub.  And considering the exclusionary, uninformed, racist rhetoric Trump has spouted regarding Latinos, it would seem this is a malicious snub.  An entire group of people - who already struggle because of language issues - are even more shut out.

      I've already said that one the ways I hope to improve myself and be more of an activist is by learning Spanish.  When an entire language - and the people who speak it - are so forcefully marginalized, that becomes even more important.  At the Womxn's March, there were a lot of signs that said: BUILD BRIDGES, NOT WALLS!  I can't think of a more powerful bridge than that of communication.  I don't particularly like learning languages; it's a struggle for me, & it takes time I'd rather spend doing other things.  And that may be the biggest indicator of my White Privilege I can think of.


So what can we do?

      Before publishing this post I went to the White House website & left a message for the president, asking him specifically to restore the Spanish Translation of the website.  There were a lot of people in those marches on Saturday.  What if we got even half of them to flood the website with that particular request?
Here's the link: https://www.whitehouse.gov/contact


*This post's title is brought to you by Google Translate.

We Will Not Go Away; Welcome to Your First Day!

      It's been awhile since I posted, but I'm happy to say my tardiness has been for all the right reasons.  Namely: activism in other ways.  Today will be the first "working" day of Trump's presidency.  That seems like a good opportunity for me to check in about my own goals and progress.

In the last 30 Days I have:

 - Attended a Community Potluck at one of my local mosques, & heard a presentation from the police about Bias Crimes & how they are reported, tracked, & acted upon.*

 - Called out one of my close relatives on some racially biased comments, & engaged her in a conversation about White Privilege.  (I'm not sure it had much of an impact on her, but she was a gracious & thoughtful listener, & I think at least one person listening to us may have been impacted.)

 - Started organizing a Self-Taught Spanish Group at my workplace to encourage learning a second language.

 - Participated in the Seattle Womxn's March on 01/21/2017, as one of over 100,000 protestors.  It was the largest protest event in Seattle's history, and part of a world-wide demonstration of unity that has never been seen before!

 - Subscribed to my local newspaper, the Seattle Times, as a way to support "real news."  This may seem like a small thing, but for $220 it may be the most important action I've taken thus far.  If you do not have a subscription to a REAL newspaper, I cannot encourage you enough to take this simple step.  The best failsafe between us and a fully corrupt government is freedom of a diverse press.  Every dictatorship involves intimidation & limitation of the press.  And if the very words "alternative facts" don't send a chill down your spine, you are not paying attention.

*While minor offenses - such as yelling out of a car window - cannot be prosecuted, the police in Seattle WANT such things reported, so they can track them.  A pattern of behavior can be an important part of prosecution at a later date, or in the obtaining of legal protection orders.   The officer repeatedly requested that people report such incidents.

2017: The Year of the Source

      I come from a family that makes New Year's Resolutions every January 1st.  Sometimes they're serious, sometimes they are fun, but they always come from a place of self-improvement.  This year, I have two related to politics and social justice.

#1: I will have no regrets in 2017 about missed opportunities to take political action.  Big or small, whether a simple conversation or a significant protest.  Realistically I know I won't be able to do everything that comes my way, but I intend to approach each opportunity with enough determination and open-mindedness that I will have no regrets.

#2: I declare 2017 to be the year of "State Your Source."  And I welcome you to join me in this, so let me explain.

      One of the most appalling hallmarks of 2016 was the wide-spread disease that is political and social falsehoods.  Some of this came from our most visible political contenders.  A lot of it came from social media.  And some of it has had shocking, tragic consequences.
      False news has appeared on virtually every topic, but especially politics.  I wish I could say that I have been immune to this plague.  As a person who was taught how to vet accurate source material in high school, college, and graduate school, I wish I could say I held a healthy skepticism.  But this isn't true.  I, like many others, got sucked into the emotional furor of the election and jumped all over at least one utterly fictional internet meme.

I found out this wasn't true by watching 2016's final episode of "Last Week Tonight," which - although comedic in nature - is serious about the accuracy of the news they share.

     This Trump meme was an easy one to swallow, for a couple obvious reasons.  First of all, it really does sound like something Trump would way.  It uses his choice vocabulary, and the pattern of speech as indicated by the punctuation is a perfect match to his typical way of talking.  There's also the fact that a "source" is given: People Magazine, 1998.  If a source is given, then hey, that's gotta be true!  But it turns out that it wasn't.
      When I discovered I had bought into and verbally repeated a complete fabrication, I was horrified and embarrassed.  Some people said I was over-reacting; it's not like the few people I'd told had made a significant impact on the outcome of the election, or even damaged someone's life.  But this could be said of any single person re-Tweeting or re-posting a meme or article.  Individually, they are hardly culpable--but as a whole, they can have a powerful impact.  That's why people go to the trouble of creating these falsehoods.
      What really mortified me, however, was not the fear that I had been one pebble in a crushing landslide.  It was the blow to my integrity.  I am personally embarrassed that I so readily bought into a lie.  My ideas about who I am - my estimation of my own intelligence - are brought into question when I so readily latch onto a piece of information because it fits with my existing worldview.  As a psychotherapist, I know that this is the mental mechanism that feeds bias, prejudice, and bigotry.  I also know that depending on how much emotion someone attaches to a topic, their willingness to change their opinion may defy all logic, even when it is in their best interest.
      I do not - NOT - want to be one of those people.

They called him "Honest Abe" for a reason, folks.
(Please tell me I don't have to explain that this is a gag.)

      I do want to keep track of the incoming U.S. president's lies.  And yes, I believe he is going to tell a lot of lies, because the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, and he has already told the U.S. and the world a lot of lies.  But the power of my argument is only as strong as the truths behind them.  If my opinions of Trump prove false, and he turns out to have an overwhelmingly positive impact on this country, then I don't want to dig me heels into the mud and whine about it: I want to be the first person to say, "Wow, I've never been so happy to be wrong in my life!"*  On the other hand, if my suspicions prove true, I want to have the hard evidence to back them up.  I want to be a person of integrity even when it is inconvenient.
      So when I hear a piece of information offered as fact, even when I like it - no, especially if I like it - I am going to ask: "state your source."  And I want people to do the same to me.  This isn't meant to be snarky, nor superior.  This is coming from a place of true curiosity, and a desire to hold myself accountable.  "The Truth shall make you Free"...but internet memes will mess with your mind.


*Admittedly it's hard to believe that possibility, considering he sometimes "promises" to do two entirely opposing things.

White Shield

      Yesterday, Lady Justice winced under her blindfold.  A lot of people - myself definitely included - expected Officer Michael Slager to be convicted of murder.  The evidence was overwhelming, and the entire country has seen it by now: two separate videos show the White police officer chasing Walter Scott - an unarmed Black man - and shooting him in the back multiple times before deliberately planting false evidence.  Yet one of the jurors apparently "could not in good conscience" give guilty verdict, and Slager was granted a mistrial.  Walter Scott did not receive the justice he deserved.

R.I.P. Walter Scott

      I will not use this space to go into the blatant nature of this failure of the justice system.  I will only say that if we take Slager at his word that he shot Mr. Scott because he was "afraid for his life," then his level of fear was nothing short of delusional paranoia.  Anyone with that extreme disconnect from reality should be court mandated to receive intensive psychotherapy, and be prohibited from ever again owning any sort of weapon.*  Fortunately, the prosecution will likely move for a new trial, rather than letting the matter drop.  Additionally, Slager faces new federal charges within the next month or two.  This isn't over yet.
      This morning I was listening to "The Takeaway," a news analysis show on NPR.  There was a brief segment on the mistrial.  The radio host John Hockenberry, said: "When I watch that video, I feel as though my safety as a citizen is compromised by the idea that someone who one moment can say, 'I'm fearing for my life,' and the next moment is covering up evidence...."
      And it hit me: with all of these police shootings, I have been feeling anger--but never fear.
      This realization has forced me to ask myself some uncomfortable questions.  It never occurred to me that I could be the victim of police brutality.  Not once.  But why not?  In my youth, before I understood the reality of pervasive racial prejudice in law enforcement, I believed that a person had to go looking for trouble.  I was raised to believe that police went after Bad Guys, and since I wasn't breaking a law, I had nothing to fear.**
       So does that mean that I believed the Black population was more prone to crime?  I went to a progressive high school and pursued sociology and psychology from my first semester in college.  I'd heard plenty of statistics about the disproportionate drug use and arrest rate among ethnic minorities in this country.  I'd also been taught that ethnic minorities were far more likely to live in poverty, attend inadequately funded schools, and live in violent neighborhoods.  In my mind, it was these external factors that pushed people to break the law.  Of course I had heard that police targeted and even harassed Black men.  I'd heard the phrase "Driving While Black."  I remember seeing the Rodney King beatings on television.  But I didn't really believe it; I was indoctrinated with the idea that only criminals have anything to fear from police.

Police are my friends, right, McGruff?

      Experience, education, and empathy overcame that misconception.  Little by little, I began to see and comprehend the truth.  I am sure there are more depths of truth for me to experience, which is part of why I write this blog.  Today I was made newly aware of the depth of my internalized White Privilege, and it shocked me.  Even when I watched a video of a police officer chasing an unarmed man and shooting him to death, I never once experienced a moment of fear for myself. From the first, I instinctively - unconsciously - knew that I wasn't at risk.  It's not that I thought to myself, "Well, I'm not Black, therefore I don't have anything to worry about."  I didn't think at all.
      My gut knew the truth long before my brain pieced it together, with all the logic and language of social justice.
      When I contemplate the possibility of experiencing police violence myself, it's within the context of protesting.  Like the heroes at Standing Rock, I reason that if I put my body on the line - perhaps literally on the line - then I face the possibility of injury or even death.  Figuratively speaking, it becomes more probable when I paint a target on my body--whereas a person of color in the U.S. has skin interpreted as an unwanted target every single day.  Bizarrely, it means putting myself in a position to experience brutality at the hands of law enforcement is a privilege.
      On Saturday, I will be teaching a public class in the community on how and when to intervene in a hate crime.  I suspect this training will not go as many of the participants are hoping, but one thing I will be pointing out is that a White person - especially a White man - is simply less likely to be assaulted if they insert themselves between an aggressor and a victim.  That does not mean it's always the most effective thing to do.  But it is true...it is true.




*That's IF we take him at his word.  I'm pretty sure I don't.

**To be clear, I still believe the majority of police officers go into law enforcement for the best possible reasons.  I believe most are wonderful people who want to do the right thing.  I also believe that many officers are good people who are unaware of their racial prejudices--I base this on the fact many of my personal acquaintance are good people, and they are unaware of their racial prejudices, just I have been in the past.

The Reality

      I woke up this morning and really needed a cup of coffee.  I don't actually have a coffee maker right now, so I walked a block to my local cafe to order a cup to go.  When I stepped outside, the first thing I saw was a group of school kids waiting for the bus with their parents.  Most of them not White.  A few were Latino.  About a third were Middle Eastern.

      I nearly burst into tears. I wanted to run up to those parents and hug them, and tell them I was so sorry.  I wanted to let them know that I'm afraid for their kids, too.  And that means I'm going to fight for their kids.

      There's a lot about this election that makes me sad.  I had trouble sleeping last night because it also makes me frightened--genuinely scared for my safety and those who I care about.  And please don't tell me I'm over-reacting or that "things could never get that bad," because that's precisely what people said when Trump started to run for president, and you have seen the headlines, right?  But mostly what I feel is anger.  And anger can be a very, very tricky emotion.

      The fact of the matter is that nothing unites like a common enemy, and that is how Trump got himself elected.  Immigrants, Muslims, the Liberal Media--how did Cercei Lannister phrase it?  "Anyone who isn't us is an enemy."  Game of Thrones may be fiction, but don't forget the author firmly based his stories in historical events.  And history has a nasty habit of repeating itself.

      As a White woman of economic and educational privilege, I've often wondered how I would have handled other periods of history.  Would I have had the guts to be one of the Freedom Riders?  Would I have had the courage to help smuggle runaway slaves through the Underground Railroad?  If I had been German in the 1930's, would I have stood up to the Nazis, or kept my head down like so many others did?  I can't go back in history.  But anyone who thinks the present day isn't just as critical as those dark chapters of our past is blind, sir, blind.

      So how to move forward.  How to make a difference.  How to meet what has happened effectively.  How to be able to look back at this time with no regrets, with no cause to lament: "If only I had done more."

      In the interest of not making posts too long, I will dedicate my next one to ideas, strategies and resources.  If you have any to add, please comment here, and let me know.  We shall overcome.

A Doctor with Any Other Skin

      There was a lot of interesting bits in the news this week (including a pretty hilarious Saturday Night Live skit spoofing the most recent U.S. presidential debate).  But the piece of news that stuck with me the most was about a doctor's experience on a recent Delta airlines flight.  A fellow passenger was experiencing a health crisis, and the flight crew called for a medical professional.  Dr. Cross raised a hand to volunteer, but a flight attendant declined the offer of assistance, stating the crew wanted "a real physician."
      What made this flight attendant think Dr. Cross wasn't a real physician?  The only possible cues this flight attendant could have called on to make this erroneous assumption were Dr. Cross's appearance: clothing, age, gender, and skin color.
      Dr. Tamika Cross is a young Black woman.  You do the math.

This is what a doctor looks like, America.

      If you haven't read Dr. Cross' original Facebook post, I highly recommend that you do so.
      There are two layers of atrociousness to Dr. Cross' experience.  One is that the prejudices of that flight attendant could have cost the sick passenger his life.  What if there hadn't been another medical professional on board?  How long would the flight attendant have dithered about, making Dr. Cross drag out some kind of ID to satisfy her doubts?  The other is a deeper, sadder truth about our judgements and decisions under stress.
      I recently attended a fabulous training on racial diversity.  The presenter made a point early on of saying that she judges people all the time--in fact she judges them before she's even seen them.  She gave the example of making judgements about the people she's hired to train based on where they work, their line of work, where they sit in the room, what they're wearing, etc.  Then she pointed out: "Judging people like this is normal, everyone does it.  Don't be worried that I'm judging you--be worried if I'm not aware of it."
      Of course I do this, too.  And I'm sad to say that the first thing that comes to my mind when I hear the word "doctor" is a White man.  But it's happened to me enough that I am aware of it--that, and other prejudicial, knee-jerk assumptions that lurk in my unconscious mind.  When people wonder why it's so important to have diversity in things like the cast of TV shows and movies, or in the characters of novels, this is why.  We need to see people of all genders, colors, body types, ages, and sexual orientation in all kinds of life roles.
      It's even more important that we see that kind of diversity in real life, which brings us to Affirmative Action...but that's another post.  We think that these kinds of superficial, snap-judgement prejudices are relatively harmless.  So what if the first thing we think when someone is driving slow is "probably a little old lady," or if we see someone struggling with an ATM we as assume, "must not be from this country?"  Now we know what: the doctor on the plane when you're having organ failure might be a little old lady, or might have English as a second language.  Fortunately, the signs of heart attack are the same no matter where you are from in the world.
      If that flight attendant wasn't aware of how she judged people before this incident occurred, I sincerely hope she's aware of it now.  I'm going to keep pushing myself to over-come my own mental stereotypes.
      Delta airlines is apparently investigating the incident.  Dr. Cross is not responding to media requests for interviews, which is the professional thing to do.  She is completing her final year of residency at a hospital, and believe me when I say hospitals do not like their medical staff to be in the news for any reason besides awards.  Although many people - including myself - would like to see Dr. Cross speak about her experience on a respectable national news program, keeping silent is definitely the way to go.
     The only point on which I disagree with Dr. Cross is on the issue of compensation.  According to her Facebook post, she would accept Skymiles as part of the airlines apology.  Whereas I intend to never fly Delta again.



*The type who are disinclined to believe in the existence of rampant racism in our society, which is sometimes subtle and sometimes not so subtle.

When to be Serious

      I recently hung out with a family member who I don't get to see very often.  He's my age, and with similar economic and social upbringing.  We were talking about the manslaughter charges that have been brought against Tulsa PD Officer Shelby.  There's a lot to talk about with this case: the utter, horrible senselessness of the shooting; the way fear and unconscious* prejudice can prompt the worst decision making; the ponderous fact that the first cop to be promptly charged in this slough of shootings is a female officer.
      I thought it would be an interesting conversation, because my family member is an educated, intelligent man.  So you can imagine my frustration when he refused to engage in the conversation seriously.

Sometimes it's hard to tell where the first three leave off, and the fourth one begins.

      Before you write him off, I will say that this is partially his personality: he has a job that requires a lot of mental, emotional, and physical energy.  Part of how he keeps his sanity is to make a joke out of just about everything else.  But then again, he can afford to make light of these tragedies, because he's an educated White Male.  He's at the top of the Privilege Food Chain.
      I tried a variety of tactics to engage him.  I spoke intelligently, citing research highlighting racial bias in every level and aspect of the criminal justice system.  He cracked a joke.  I talked about my blog, and quoted Eldridge Cleaver's famous line: "If you are not part of the solution, you must be part of the problem." He cracked a joke.  I offered suggestions as to how he could start conversations in his own workplace, use his job as a way to make a difference.  He cracked a joke.

This was from an article in the Huffington Post last year.  I find this data to be particularly useful when discussing police shootings with people who are resistant to the idea that there is a racial aspect.  It gets them thinking about misuse of force, which seems like a good starting place.  Baby steps are better than not budging at all.

     Finally, I said simply: "This is something that's important to me.  If you're not willing to do anything, then I need to ask you to be supportive of me, because I'm taking this seriously."
     He didn't make a joke; he seemed taken aback.  I have a feeling I may need to say it again in the future, probably more than once.  But if that's what it takes to get even one person to pay a little more attention, I'll say it as often as necessary.  This blog is here as a reminder for me to keep talking.  It's the least I can do.


*Or conscious, obviously, but in some ways I think it is our biases we aren't aware of that are more dangerous.

When News Hits 1.1

      As more information about the murder of Paul O'Neal comes forward, people have - understandably - reacted with grief, and confusion, and anger.  They have also reacted with defensiveness, which is also understandable.  It's just also very sad.  When people feel defensive, they are the least likely to listen to others, or empathize, or learn.
      I just feel sick.  Over the weekend I was visiting extended family, watching the news, and when I saw the body camera videos being played I wanted to vomit.  I felt terribly sad for Mr. O'Neal and his family.  Imagine having a loved one killed, and then seeing a video of it broadcast all over the nation, showing the fear and chaos surrounding his death?  How can one possibly endure such a public horror?  The only thought that would keep me sane is if I believed that justice would ultimately be served.

I cannot begin to imagine what it would be like to be in Briana Adam's place, and I pray that nobody else ever will be. Photo Source: http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/breaking/ct-fatal-police-shooting-video-of-paul-o-neal-released-photos-20160805-photogallery.html

      I think it's our duty as compassionate human beings to see that justice is served for all of these wrongful, clearly race-related deaths.
      I had a brief but interesting discussion with my family after the clips were played.  The officers behavior was roundly condemned, for several reasons, including a few I hadn't even thought of.  It was pointed out that when they opened fire at the car they were being reckless on several counts, including the risk of injuring the driver  and having him cause further damage with his vehicle, and also the idiocy given their positions, since the officers themselves were in the crossfire.  Then there's the question of whether the driver's actions justified being shot to begin with.  Even if he intentionally tried to hit an officer with the car, does that equate the use of lethal force?
      One item brought up was the necessity of identifying potential "hot heads" before admission into the police academy.  As a psychologist, I don't know if that's really possible, but it sure as hell sounds like a good idea to me--can we screen for racist bias, too?  How about propensity to develop racist bias?  How about vulnerability to peer pressure, spoken or otherwise?
      The one thing we did not discuss at length was how race played a part in Paul O'Neal's death.  I asked right out, "Would the officers have opened fire if the suspect was White?"  A few comments were muttered, and then the subject was dropped.  My assessment was that my family - who had come together to enjoy themselves, support one another, and feel the replenishment of togetherness - did not want to risk such a charged topic.  I didn't push it.  I feel a little disappointed in myself that I didn't have the courage and fortitude to press the matter.  At the time, however, I told myself that there would be future opportunities.
      And that's the sad, horrible truth.

When News Hits

      When perusing the newspaper last Sunday, I found a small article providing an update on an internal investigation regarding a police shooting in Chicago.  Briefly (and I am sure this is not a complete story): Chicago PD pulled over a Jaguar that had been reported stolen.  After being stopped, the suspect tried to drive away, sideswiping a police car and another parked vehicle, so the police opened fire.  The driver was hit, and pronounced dead at the hospital.  An autopsy result on Friday showed that the man had been shot in the back, and his death was ruled a homicide.
      The driver was a Black man--but you probably already guessed that.

Photo Credit: Jose M. Osorio, Chicago Tribune

      The article said that a third police officer involved with the shooting has been "relieved of his powers" while the death is investigated.  Of course, Chicago PD has been under some serious scrutiny about these very issues for the last...how many years now?  But one has to wonder just what that actually means--what it actually looks like.
      When I started to read this article, I noticed that I was holding my breath.  I was actually bracing myself, thinking: "Ok, here we go...again."  My anxiety went up.  And then when I was done reading it, several thoughts went through my mind.  I want to recount that thought process here as honestly as I can, first with my initial thoughts, and then my reflection on those thoughts after the fact.
      First Reaction: "Holy $#!t, what are these police officers thinking!?!"
      Follow-up Reflection: Given everything that's been in the news in the last few years, if I was a police officer right now, I would be so freaked out about even being ACCUSED of abusing my power - especially with a suspect of a different race - I wouldn't even pull my gun unless somebody had already starting shooting at me.  (Which means I would probably wind up dead--I would make a lousy police officer.)  But the point is, I want to give most police officers the benefit of the doubt.  I have worked with a lot of street kids, and I have met some wonderful cops who bent over backwards to try and help.  I have also seen some men and women in uniform who were, for lack of a better word, complete assholes.  Most of the officers I met were somewhere in between.  But I'm a therapist, and I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt.  Still...incidents like this keep making it harder.
      Second Reaction: "And what the hell was that driver thinking?!  He's a Black man being pulled over by police officers in Chicago while driving a Jaguar!  Whether guilty or no, what made him think trying to drive away wouldn't increase his risk of getting shot?!"
      Follow-up Reflection: But then I realize, Maybe that's why he tried to drive away.  Maybe he panicked.  Maybe he thought he'd be shot if he got out of the car--and maybe he was right.  Then my thoughts spiral, as they often do: maybe he was under the influence of alcohol or some other drug so his thinking was already clouded, or on the flip side maybe the whole thing was a set up and he was murdered in cold blood, or maybe he was threatening police before he hit the gas, and back and forth and back and forth and let's face it there's no way I'll ever know because I wasn't there.
      Third - and maybe most important - I finally thought: "But all of that's beside the point, isn't it?  Because nobody should have to be afraid of the police because of the color of their skin.  And, even if the police acted in the best possible faith, what kind of training are they receiving that they think it's a good idea to shoot at somebody driving away from them?"
      Fourth, I thought: "And why the heck did it take me so long to reach those conclusions?  What does that say about me?"

I Googled "Introspection" and this sculpture by Frank Somma came up.  It really captures my feelings when I write in this blog.

      What can I learn about myself?  And how can I use what I learn?