Preferential Treatment, Part Two

      This is the second part of a blog post about an experience I had at a restaurant last weekend.  In Part One I outlined the experience as honestly as I could, and the observations I made that led to my thoughts that the staff - almost all ethnic minorities, predominantly Black - were giving preferential service to Black patrons.  I did doubt myself at the time - I still do, as I'm writing this - and I hope that my knee-jerk conclusion is wrong.  I hope that my low blood sugar affected my powers of perception, and made me feel more paranoid and testy than normal.  I really don't like thinking that anybody is exhibiting racial prejudice for any reasons; as I've stated before, I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt.
      That being said, I'm far from ignorant.  I know too well the many different forms that prejudice can take.  And I'm very aware that usually that prejudice benefits me, as a White American woman.  But sometimes it doesn't.  When White people find themselves on the losing side of racial prejudice, they tend to react very negatively.  I'm trying to see this as an opportunity for learning, about myself and the society in which I live.
      So now that I'm thinking back over the events of the morning, my brain goes into Alternate Theory Mode.  (I'm starting to recognize this as my pattern.)  Maybe I missed something, and those tables with Black patrons were seated and ordered earlier than I thought.  Maybe those patrons were owners, or former employees, or family members--if we're being honest, we all give preferential treatment to those individuals.  Or maybe nobody was receiving special attention, and the kitchen just didn't have their act together.  After all, that White family seated to my right got their food more quickly than my husband and I.  It's totally possible that something wonky happened with our order.  There are plenty of perfectly logical reasons for the timing and order of food service that have nothing to do with race.

I realize it sounds entirely silly, but if there was some way to end racism through food, I would drop my career and make that my life's work.

      Then my brain goes into Explore the Meaning Mode.  To lay it out: what if my initial assumption was correct after all?  What does that mean to me?  What does it mean in a larger social context? What can I learn?
      So: if my initial assumption was correct, and my food order was intentionally delayed as the orders of Black patrons (and other minorities, for all I know) were put in the front of the list, what does that mean to me?  My first reaction is indignant anger.  I don't like unfairness in general.  And if I'm being honest, I like it even less when it negatively impacts me--particularly when it comes between me and my breakfast.*  There's a part of my privileged, restaurant experienced brain that says, "That is a piss poor business model, and a great way to alienate customers. Where is your pride in your work?"  I also feel hurt.  I think, "I'm a nice person!  I just wanted to eat breakfast!  Judging me on the color of my skin denies me who I am as an individual!"
      Well, duh.
      Which brings me to the question of a larger social context.  What if the staff there were prioritizing the orders of Black patrons?  What if they were using this restaurant as a space for people who get the short end of the stick in so many ways, so often, and making a small gesture to put them first for a change?
      There area couple problems: I'm pretty sure that giving preferential treatment to customers based on perceived race is illegal.  I say "pretty sure," because if there's one thing I've learned in the last few years, it's that laws vary more from state to state than one might expect.**  But more importantly, it goes against a moral code to which the majority of Americans believe that they adhere.  Given the legacy of the 1960's and the Civil Rights Movement, I think most of us have very strong reactions to blatant exhibitions of racial prejudice, particularly when it comes to service industries.

The Supreme Court abolished segregation in public businesses with the Civil Rights Act of 1964.  The way the law is written, is applies all ways, across all races.

      After segregation became illegal, many business establishments attempted to discourage minorities from coming by treating them badly.  This still happens today, way more often than most people know--or are willing to admit.  And I know exactly how I would react if I thought a restaurant were giving preferential treatment to White customers: I'd call my friends who are lawyers and try to get it shut down.  That being said, I noticed who was receiving food at the restaurant over the weekend because I was the one being kept waiting.  Would I notice if I was the one being moved to the front of the list?
      Historically, how many places gave preferential service to ethnic minorities over White people?  If my order was pushed back in favor of others, still I wasn't refused service, and no real damage was done.  Do I have an ethical leg to stand on in being bent out of shape?
      I don't like unfairness to be encouraged or tolerated in any sense.  It may sound idealistic, but I believe it is detrimental to an individual if they are taught that it's Ok to discriminate for any reason.  I recognize and honor the statistical foundations of Affirmative Action, but I also admit it took me awhile to really believe it was necessary, and to get on board.  I long for the day when the playing field really is level.  Cynically, I doubt that will happen in my lifetime.
      Here's the last thing my brain is processing on this before I get too flooded to continue: what if the restaurant gave preferential service to ethnic minorities, and everybody knew about it?  What if it was something they took pride in, because they wanted to make a political statement?
      Weirdly enough, if that were the case, I think I would make a point of eating there.  There are businesses I boycott because I dislike their politics--this would just be the opposite.  Then I would feel like I was a part of a socio-political statement, instead of a victim of prejudice.  Or even if the employees weren't doing it to make a statement, just to support fellow minorities, if they were honest and open about it, I would patronize their establishment to show my support as well.
      So what does all this say about me?  I guess I don't take kindly to being marginalized.  I don't want ANYBODY being marginalized, especially for utterly stupid reasons like skin color.  But, like most people, I'm more likely to get worked up when I'm the one impacted.



*Remember my three disclaimers from Part One: I am a breakfast-loving foodie who get cantankerous when my blood sugar gets too low.

**Especially in the area of civil rights.  Which is, frankly, downright alarming.